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Superstar Mahira Khan opened up about the controversies and quiet convictions that have shaped her journey as Pakistan’s most recognisable face on the screen in an honest conversation on Ahmed Ali Butt’s podcast.

Speaking ahead of the release of her upcoming film Love Guru, the actor laid bare her thoughts on career-defining moments, personal misgivings, motherhood, and what it truly means to fall in love — and rise — in public.

Khalilur Rehman Qamar

Addressing an earlier controversy involving writer Khalilur Rehman Qamar, Mahira offered a moment of self-reflection. Referring to a past tweet in which she condemned the writer’s misogynistic tirade on television, she admitted: “If you’re asking me if he was right about calling me out for not giving him a call instead of tweeting about him then I would say he was right. I should’ve aired my concerns…to him directly. That was my mistake.”

She recalled waking up at 4am for Neelofar and seeing the clip that led to her tweet. “I woke up and I saw this news, I saw him abusing this woman. For me, it was not cool, and it will never be cool. It’s not correct. Another thing I do not find cool is that we do not have the guts to say that it’s not cool…unless we have nothing to gain or lose.”

She said another thing she doesn’t find cool is that “we do not have the guts to call out people.”

“We only have the guts to call out people when we have nothing to gain from them. But when we have something to gain or something to lose, we don’t.” Her “lapse in judgment”, she said, was emotional but not entirely unfounded. “My amma told me that I was wrong, just because he is a bara [an elder]. Whether he was right or wrong, she told me I should’ve messaged him, and tomorrow if someone questioned me, I could’ve said that I don’t agree with it, that I look down upon it.”

Butt said he “understands” where Qamar was coming from when he complained about Mahira. “He was here on the podcast, he said you and him had an understanding and he really liked you. But I think his hatred and disappointment came from a place of love. He had such a high regard for you that he would’ve liked it if you called him and said this personally.”

To this, Mahira responded, “Sure, but you see that is one incident, there have been many that have happened after that and I have never said anything. But that doesn’t mean that I agree with all those incidents that have happened. And I can separate the artist from the man. I do feel that I should’ve handled it differently just because of our [age gap].”

Butt’s attempt to rationalise Qamar’s vitriol as “hatred coming from a place of love” is not only misguided but deeply troubling. Such justifications do more harm than good, as they minimise the gravity of the abuse and silence those brave enough to call it out.

For the unversed, the notorious writer had cursed and sworn at journalist Marvi Sirmed on national television in 2020. During a discussion on the Aurat March, Qamar, known for his vitriolic comments on women and feminism, expressed his anger at the court for rejecting a petition to halt the movement. He then attacked fellow guest Sirmed.

“What’s in your body? Who the hell are you, go look at your body and face; no one even wants to spit on it,” he lashed out. “Don’t talk in the middle, don’t talk in between. What is your body, bibi? Don’t talk bloody nonsense. You bloody, shut up. B**ch!” he said, as Sirmed kept chanting, “mera jism, meri marzi” (my body, my choice), a slogan that has come to represent the Aurat March.

Mahira, who has previously worked with Qamar in Sadqay Tumhare but has never been Qamar’s friend, as she clarified in this interview, took to X (then Twitter) to write, “I am shocked at what I have just heard and seen! Sick to the core. This same man who abused a woman on TV is revered and given project after project because of what? We are as much to blame if not more for perpetuating this thinking!”

After her tweet, many other stars began calling out Qamar as well, including her Sadqay Tumhare costar Adnan Malik.

It also led Qamar to make several problematic statements about Mahira. In 2022, he tweeted that he committed the “sin” of working with her. He also told Butt on his podcast that he doesn’t need her forgiveness and the only way she’ll ever work on his project is if he leaves it or dies. “She was my friend like you are my friend. She had the right to call me and fight with me. She could’ve told me the problem she had with me to my face. But she chose to pen such a disgusting tweet,” he said.

Mahira is now being called out for backtracking on her initial condemnation. Her original tweet raised the issue of people in the entertainment industry working with and thereby giving power to misogynistic men, who, despite what Mahira or anyone would like to believe, cannot be separated from their art.

How else does “dou takay ki aurat” and slapping a woman become part of a prime-time TV drama?

Many took issue with Mahira saying she shouldn’t have publicly called Qamar out because he was older.

It’s important to recognise that harmful behaviour like Qamar’s televised and very public abuse warrants public accountability. Respect for those older than you should never come at the cost of enabling misogyny and hatred. Suggesting that Mahira should’ve addressed the matter quietly behind closed doors shifts the focus from Qamar’s actions to her reaction.

No one should feel ashamed of calling out such behaviour publicly. Her ‘emotional reaction’, as she described it, wasn’t misplaced, it was a necessary response to a very public display of sexism. To walk back from that moment now, even partially, risks sending the message that seniority excuses abuse, and that speaking up is only valid when it’s done politely or discreetly. That’s not accountability; that’s complicity.

Firdous Jamal

Mahira also addressed past criticism from veteran actor Firdous Jamal, who had publicly said she’s too old to be ‘heroine stuff’. “I’m sorry to say…Mahira is not heroine stuff. She’s a mediocre sort of a model, she’s not a good actress and is not a heroine. She’s quite aged as well and we don’t have heroines at this age, they only play the characters of mothers.”

Mahira admitted what Jamal said hurt her, especially during the release of Punjab Nahi Jaungi, when “my own fraternity was bashing me.” But then she got over it.

“When you become successful — beyond successful — more than people can imagine, that’s when they just come after you,” she said. “I also give people the benefit of the doubt that they don’t know me. I actually believe that if they meet me, even for five minutes, they’ll—”

“Be mesmerised,” Butt interrupted with a grin. Mahira responded with a wide smile. “They’ll just get it,” she added. “I work on one film a year or one serial a quarter because of my child and amma abba. They say that she thinks too highly of herself. But when they meet me, they realise, for me, it’s not about that.”

Divorce, second marriage, and Azlan

The actor also spoke candidly about her marriage to businessman Salim Karim, and the long, considered journey it took to reach that point. When asked about her decision to remarry, Butt quipped, “Congratulations on your wedding. About time!”

Mahira, laughing, questioned, “About time?” Butt responded, “You took your sweet time. Were you scared because, once bitten twice shy?”

“It’s not about ‘once bitten, twice shy,’” Mahira replied. “I wouldn’t call it bitten. I’m glad that my first marriage happened. I was very young, and it gave me the best thing — Azlan,” she said, referring to her son.

While perhaps intended as playful banter, Butt’s comment reflects a deeper societal expectation that women should marry by a certain age, as if their milestones are a ticking clock. It also reduces their sense of autonomy. However casual, such remarks also risk trivialising the complex emotional and personal work involved in making decisions around marriage.

Mahira was transparent about the emotional toll her first marriage and its end took on her. “I became hopeless and doubtful about marriage…I just didn’t have it in me,” she said, adding that her biggest concern was Azlan. “I chose to leave a marriage, that was my choice, of course, I took it as a personal failure, but I also used to feel guilty because I took that away from Azlan, he’ll never see a family and I did that. That was my choice. So I decided that I would never again make a choice that affected him drastically. So, I used to worry that what if I marry again, and that ends up disrupting his life again, this setup he has now, this house, this stability.”

It was Azlan himself who gave her the reassurance she needed. “He convinced me. He’d say, ‘Mama, what is wrong with you?’ I told him that I was scared and he’d say, ‘Come on!’ and it was important for me to hear that. And I don’t think that a seven or eight-year-old can say to you. It was also important to me that Azlan likes the man that I marry, not because I love him or because he’s my husband, but because they get along. He should be able to respect him and Salim is that man.”

Her parents

In one of the episode’s most vivid anecdotes, Mahira painted a picture of the eclectic influences that shaped her.

“My father is a hippie, he has the soul of a hippie. He was at Woodstock in 1969!” she revealed. “He has a double MBA, is very spiritual, and once lived on an island, wood carving and playing the flute. When he came back, he had long hair and my dadi fainted at the door.”

Her mother, by contrast, was a pioneering remedial teacher. “At a time when no one knew what autism or dyslexia was, she was one of the first.”

A proud feminist

When asked whether she’s a feminist, Mahira didn’t hesitate. “Hell yeah, are you not?” she asked Butt pointedly. “Feminism is very simple to me,” she said. “It means equal rights. It means what you deserve, I deserve. There shouldn’t be any discrimination based on gender. Simple.”

On Humsafar and Fawad Khan

Looking back at the phenomenon that was Humsafar, Mahira described it as a “professional high” that came at a “personal low” as she was going through her separation at the time. “It happened really fast…We didn’t even realise when it became such a big phenomenon.”

About her enduring friendship with co-star Fawad Khan since then, she said: “Those moments where he has allowed himself to be himself with me. I’ve always appreciated that and protected it.

On Love Guru: ‘Why not?’

As she gears up for her next release, Love Guru, Mahira says the film reignited something childlike in her. “It was so much fun. I have a great affinity and I’m very amused by directors. I’m 100 per cent a director’s actor. Once I get along with a director, I thoroughly enjoy them and they enjoy me.”

Referring to her director Nadeem Baig and co-star Humayun Saeed, she added, “At one point, me and Nadeem were doing a dance together. It was lovely. And even Humayun and Nadeem and I were lovely…I don’t know if you’d call it chemistry or equation, it just looks nice, mine and Humayun’s.”

Love Guru is set to hit theatres on Eidul Azha.